The first acquaintance I made on the job was a girl of similar age to me. She had started just three weeks prior to my arrival at the store and had very much of an attitude of an adolescent who had been forced to attain a job by their parents. At first, I played into her conversation, complaining with her about the long shifts, constant standing, and rude managers. However, this talk got annoying fast, and I found myself responding in shorter phrases and with little to no eye contact. Catching on quick, she began to search for a different companion. Soon, I saw her gabbing with an adolescent boy in a different department 24/7 and not really caring to acknowledge me when we passed. While at the time I was slightly bothered, I went back to my work silently and alone and continued to work away. A few weeks passed and I began to meet more people. A middle aged man whose wife and two children worked a couple stations away from me during the slow night shifts. As we worked together more frequently, we began to converse more and talk about our lives and share the quirky stories and instances while on the job. This became much of a pattern as I settled into my work schedule and I found that it made each shift that much more enjoyable. I realized that the initial connection I'd felt to the adolescent girl my first days of work weren't necessarily because of personality or common interests. Instead, I was drawn to her because of our similar physical traits: female and adolescent. However, our perspective and work motives were misaligned, something that was quickly discovered. It wasn't until I opened my eyes and looked around at people from all walks of life and took the time to discover who I was able to converse with easily and engagingly. This friendship formed resulted in a more productive and enjoyable work experience that ultimately got me through each day and month worked at the grocery store.
I think people tend to gravitate towards people who seem like they come from a similar background, however, they may realize that just because they have similar circumstances, they may not necessarily get along better then two people from completely different backgrounds. Working at the grocery store not only helped me grow as a financially stable person but also as a social person, able to understand what values I seek out in friends and wish to implement in myself. These social skills that come from work and life experience and benefits gained come unexpectedly from good and bad experiences.
When you don't know anyone at a place of work (or a school or other forma organization) there is a tendency to gravitate to people with whom interaction seems easy. As you suggest, that is often based on surface traits and not on where real commonality lies. So as you get more comfortable there is a tendency to drift away from these initial contacts toward others where there really is more commonality.
ReplyDeleteHowever, I gather, that the first experience wasn't that bad - unpleasant perhaps but nothing more. Or were there really angry exchanges that you didn't write about?
I actually have never really had a horrible experience with someone before. That may be because I tend to avoid those that I think I would have conflicts with based on personality or actions
DeleteI agree that it is much easier for us and individuals to gravitate towards others who we perceive as being like us. I have been guilty of this myself many times. However, my experiences in doing this have never been bad, per say. Like you, I learned from my interactions with those individuals to either pull away or draw closer.
ReplyDeleteI have similar experiences where I work.
ReplyDeleteDuring the school year, all my coworkers are students. However, during the summertime, when there are much fewer students, my company has to bring in what we call "Extra Help." The Extra Help are the cooks, assistants, and staff of the dining halls. They probably have a medium age of 40 or so.
Most students complain about working in the summer because they find it hard to relate with the Extra Help. However, I have noticed that the work goes much much smoother. This is the Extra Help's full-time job. They have much more skin in the game than students like myself that regard it only as a part-time job.
Yes, I also like hearing and talking to coworkers who have a different lifestyle and view the job as more then just extra spending money.
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